Sunday, November 06, 2005

"And what was said to the rose to make it unfold is said to me here in my chest - so be quiet now, and rest."

These are lyrics from "Here is our King" from the latest Crowder release. These lyrics hit me a lot when I first heard this song at Passion 05 last January. The song itself is fun and catchy, and it was written in response to the tsunami in late December. And, it's by the Crowder Band, so of course I love it!

I love the imagery in this line. What is being said to me so as to result in my own unfolding, my own blooming? What does it mean for me in my life to unfold? What is going to make me continue to grow more and more beautiful and mature in my life and ministry? Where am I accepting mediocrity?

I was trying to think of what I'm doing that prevents me from unfolding. It's pretty painful to think about. Oh, mymymy, the selfishness in my life lately!!! It makes me cry. Really. This morning in church my eyes started leaking uncontrollably (in front of everyone sitting around me, including two 7th grade boys who are my students... I think I covered it from them, though...). They wouldn't stop! It didn't have anything to do with the service at all. It was right after communion, and I couldn't concentrate on praying at all. Usually, the time after communion is great prayer time for me, but today it was blank, shallow, and had the lyrics to the song we were singing intertwined through it. I knew I had to ask forgiveness for something from Neil. As soon as I did, everything was fine. I think that at that moment, I was able to unfold a bit more.

I didn't hear that urging until the quiet time after communion. "So be quiet now, and rest."

Where am I settling for mediocrity instead of listening to the voice that calls me to unfold? This is my question for the next couple of days. Hopefully I'll find time to be quiet and rest.


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